Life seemed like everything was going down the drain,
Hopelessness and worry has built its train,
Loneliness and anxiety filled my brain,
There ain’t no way – I thought,
Still I clung onto my only hope!
Life was miserable. I didn’t know what the future had in store for me, but I believed in the One who was holding my future. I knew I was in a pit, falling uncontrollably, but I didn’t give up on my cry to the One I trusted. I didn’t know if He was hearing me, if He was working on my broken life, but I only prayed. My desperate prayers went on for 3+ years.
March 10th 2015:
Should I say my prayers were answered? I didn’t know. Should I say I received what I prayed for? I didn’t know. I didn’t know because I didn’t receive the answer I was expecting. But, I received an answer, and I didn’t like it. I was about to kick it, turn back and walk away; but then, I prayed. That’s when I heard His still small voice. Despite the volcano of my thoughts, the waves of my emotions, and the clutter of my heart – I heard Him. He said, “This is my plan for you. Won’t you trust me?” I held onto Him like a baby and I gave Him my word – “I accept your plan for my life. I would… I would… trust you!” I cried, but I trusted Him.
Life seemed like – A puzzle of unexpected pieces,
A live volcano of thoughts,
A gushing wave of emotions,
I wondered – Is the only solution brokenness?
But in the midst, there was a soothing peace!
Life was still fearful. It only became difficult, as the days passed by. Family was far and friends went away. Am I prepared for what’s coming next? Not at all!
March 21st 2015:
Still fighting the battles in my mind, I got dressed up, dreading what was going to happen in the next few hours of my life. My heart started to race, as I heard footsteps entering the house. I was still hiding inside, when I was expected to show up in the living room. I wanted to run away, away from the human world. She came in, gave me a smile, and asked me to take a sip of sprite, to ease my tension. She said, “You don’t have to worry, ‘cuz he’s a cool guy”. They accompanied me to the living room, and there you were – sitting on the couch, facing me. I still wasn’t sure, but I knew you were the one. That’s the reason I managed a shy “Yes”, when you asked me if I liked you. May be I haven’t told you, but my world paused and my heart skipped a beat when you asked me that question – I already fell for you.
Life hit the pause button,
And a new tape started to play.
Love started to fill the air,
Honesty took the first giant leap,
And I felt all at ease.
I fell head over heels in love with you, in the first five minutes of our talk. I still treasure that chocolate box you gifted me – my first gift from my chocolate boy. I wore a sari at your request, and I loved standing beside you, loved being your girl. We were lost in our conversation that we didn’t even notice everybody leaving us alone in the living room. Few minutes later, they all came and announced the wedding date, and I can’t forget your first reaction to it – How you turned and looked into my eyes and asked me, “Is May 22nd okay with you?” And all I could do is nod my head in acceptance.
I already felt connected when you asked for exchange of phone numbers and I declined your request. I didn’t miss you when you were leaving that afternoon, because you left a piece of yourself with me. I could feel your presence with me. I already felt I was a part of you. And, that’s how Love happened in the twinkling of an eye – it was so perfect! Oh, how I cherish those moments – the biggest surprise of my life! I always told my friends, “My Chocolate Boy would fall down from heaven”, and that dream came true. My Trust and my Hope sent you to me from heaven – the sweetest gift I could ever receive, in the weirdest way I could ever imagine in the wildest of my dreams.
Life played beats of love,
With those strings, my broken heart wove
Together with those rhythms –
Joy filled my heart,
Streams of happiness flowed.
Do you think this is the end of my “Happily Ever After”? I’m sorry, this is just the beginning! Three years passed and I can still feel the freshness and warmth of your love. I hope and believe there’s much more to unfold in the years to come.